In his defense, it's been about twenty years since he wrote anything other than Army memos and reports. I volunteered to be the editor and proofreader, which is a fancy title for "bad news delivery girl." It was, as you can imagine, a perfect storm.
Just when I was wondering where I might be able to hide his body if I did him in, The Army Dude showed up with a really nice "Congratulations on Your Bar Mitzvah" card for my upcoming trip. By the time I finished laughing, he was forgiven.
The essay has been submitted, thank goodness. I've already told the Army Dude that if he calls me in July -- when the next essay is due -- I will answer the phone "G'day" because I will be in Australia for the duration.
Can you see those suitcases peeking up behind the chair on the left? STILL NOT PACKED.