RIP Ringo Stu Kitty, Esq.

It's a sad day here at Old Maid HQ.  Ringo Stu Kitty, beloved cat of Monica of 5 Cats Shy, brother of the dearly departed Seamus Patrick O'Kitty and excellent roadtrip buddy crossed the Rainbow Bridge last night.

Ringo Stu was a six-pound cat with a lion-sized personality.  He always greeted guests at the door like the gentleman he was.  Ringo was an excellent conversationalist  who enjoyed talking on the phone with his grandma Kathleen and expressing himself on many topics.  He was also a talented singer who enjoyed xylophone music and would sing along with Buddy Holly's "Every Day" and the Beastie Boys' "Girls."  His cow impersonations were legendary.

Ringo was a very cuddly cat who would by means of stealth get onto his mother's lap at any opportunity.  He loved his mother very much, and he also had love to share with others.  When we were traveling across the country, I woke up many times with Ringo curled up on my belly.  Ringo was a lot of love in a very small package.

Ringo is survived by his mother Monica, his grandma Kathleen, his aunt Michelle, his aunt Maria, and his cousins Huckleberry and Daphne Clementine Katz.  Godspeed, "Ringo Stulio down at the schoolyard."

Summer of Awesomeness Guest Blog: ROAD TRIP!

What could make your summer more awesome than hitting the open road? As part of Laura at Rhinestone Armadillo's Summer of Awesomeness series, please join me on a virtual roadtrip around the USA, where we will look for the kitschy, the tacky, the interesting, and the downright strange. Maybe one of the sites I've selected will be near you (and if you're a reader from outside the US, maybe some of the sites I've found will inspire you to visit)!

I must, of course, begin with Rhode Island's own Nibbles Woodaway, who stands guard over I-95 outside Providence. The 58-foot-long Big Blue Bug perches on top of the offices of New England Pest Control. He even gets dressed up for various holidays.

Heading southwest-ish, we arrive at the Haines Shoe House in Hellam, Pennsylvania. It was originally designed in 1949 as a gimmick to advertise Mr. Haines' many shoe stores in the area. For the first few years, the house was offered to elderly couples for a free weekend getaway. Nowadays you can take a tour for a nominal fee.

In Hardeeville, South Carolina, we find giant pink and gray elephants standing in front of Papa Joe's Fireworks. Why giant elephants? Why not?

Winging our way north to West Virginia (see what I did there?) we encounter a 12-foot-tall stainless steel sculpture depicting The Mothman. Legend has it that a mysterious creature, part man and part moth, terrorized the town of Point Pleasant back in the 1960s. I don't know if Batboy was involved in any of this, but it sure sounds like his kind of thing.

I have a soft spot in my heart for Gemini Giant, whose photo I took on my first Route 66 adventure with my sister Rachel back in 2008. We took a day trip from Chicago to Wilmington, Illinios, where this relic of America's fascination with the space program stands in front of the Launching Pad diner in all his 1960s kitschy glory. (For you youngsters out there, Project Gemini was the name of NASA's second human spaceflight program in 1965 and 1966.)

While we're on the subject of giants, let's visit The Jolly Green Giant in Blue Earth, Minnesota. This advertising icon stands 55 feet tall on the farmland where the Green Giant vegetable company got its start. Ho, ho, ho!

Next, we drive on over to Afton, Wyoming, where we find the Elkhorn Arch stretching 75 feet across Highway 89. The arch is, as the name indicates, entirely made up of elk antlers. There is a sign proclaiming it to be the World's Largest Elkhorn Arch. I'd be willing to bet that's an easy claim to make since it's probably the world's only elkhorn arch.

It's a good thing we are taking this trip in the summertime, because Cut Bank, Montana claims to be the coldest spot in the nation -- and I, for one, have no desire to go there in January to check. It's cold enough in Rhode Island in the winter, thank you very much. This 27-foot penguin, standing in front of the Glacier Gateway Inn, is awfully cute, though.

Tacoma, Washington, is home to Bob's Java Jive. The coffeepot-shaped restaurant was originally built in 1928 and has gone through many incarnations since then. In my opinion, this roadside icon gets extra points for being a kitschy shape and decorated with neon.

At the southern end of the Pacific coast we find Queen Califa's Magical Circle, a sculpture garden created by the French artist Niki De Saint Phalle, in Escondido, California. The garden includes a maze entryway, a snake wall, scultped garden benches, eight totemic sculptures, and a whole lot of awesome. The artwork is adorned with mosaics of paint, stone, glass, and more.

I was excited to cross Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, Texas off my Bucket List this year. Originally created in 1974, this art project pays homage to the tail fin of the Cadillac, as it slowly disappeared from the new models between 1949 and 1963. The project continues to evolve as people spray paint the cars with graffiti. My friend Monica and I signed our names (and the names of her two cats) in Sharpie marker.

The last stop of our whirlwind tour around the USA is in Joseph City, Arizona, home to the Jackrabbit Trading Post. This spot is the perfect place to buy cheesy souvenirs and get your picture taken on the back of a giant jackrabbit wearing a saddle. You know you want to.

I hope you've enjoyed our quick tour of roadside oddities in the USA. There is SO much to see out there, my friends. I encourage you to check out websites such as Roadside America and find out what there is to see in your area. It will make your summer so much more awesome.

R.I.P. Seamus Patrick O'Kitty

It's a sad day here at Old Maid HQ. Seamus Patrick O'Kitty, beloved cat of Monica of 5 Cats Shy and friend to spinsters coast to coast crossed the rainbow bridge last night.

Seamus was the strong, silent type. He didn't say much, so when he did talk, you knew he had something important to communicate. Things like "My brother just pooped in the cat carrier," for example -- vital information on a cross-country roadtrip.

Seamus and I really had a chance to get to know each other on the road trip we took together in January. Before that, he'd always viewed me as a stranger and best avoided. But he warmed up to me on that trip. I would wake up in the middle of the night, sick with the flu and worrying about my own kitty boarded at the vet for the first time ever, and he'd be on the bed with me -- still silent, not asking to be petted, just there. It was very comforting.

I also like to remember the Wigwam Motel in Holbrook, Arizona, where Seamus and I snuggled on my bed in the evening while I read. I petted him while he purred and purred. It was a happy time.

Seamus is survived by his mother Monica, his brother Ringo Stu Kitty, his grandma Kathleen, his aunt Michelle, his aunt Maria, and his cousins Huckleberry and Daphne Clementine Katz. Godspeed, Little Boy.

Roadtrip: Day 8

Forgive me, gentle readers, for taking some time to finish up my road trip saga. I've spent the past three days sleeping. I'm finally shaking the malaria or typhiod or whatever it was we had, and starting to feel like myself again. Also, I had a boatload of laundry to do.


We got a really early start on our last day. It was a race to get me to a train headed to Rhode Island. It was also a race against a possible snowstorm. We did see a little snow in New Jersey, but I made it stop using my psychic powers. It's just another service I provide.

We were only in West Virginia for a short time before we got to Pennsylvania -- as you can see, the sun was just coming up.

The state of New Jersey has their welcome sign in the middle of the highway, which is just wrong. But it was a beautiful day in North Plainfield, which is the birthplace and childhood home of Monica of 5 Cats Shy. There wasn't a statue or even a plaque commemorating her birth at the hospital there, which is also just wrong.

Soon it was time to say goodbye to Monica and the kitties, and head home via Amtrak. It was a long eight days; at the same time, it went by in a blur. I guess time is always sort of elastic when you are away from home and your usual routines.

I've been telling a few people about the trip and everyone says "I'm sorry it was so awful." But it wasn't. Yes, we were sick, and yes, we got hemmed in by Snowmageddon. But we also had a lot of laughs and a lot of fun.

I guess when you're with a true friend, even difficult circumstances can turn into good times.

Roadtrip: Day 7

Sunrise at the South Carolina state line.

We got on the road before dawn, excited to be heading north after so many days of an eastern trajectory. The cats were happy to be singing along with their favorite tunes.



We crossed into Virginia (cue the happy dance) and entertained the patrons at a Waffle House off I-81 by walking the cats in the parking lot after we had lunch.


The drive through the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenendoah Valley was so pretty. The roads had signs stating that speeders would be caught by aircraft enforcement. I viewed this as a challenge and I kept telling Monica I wanted to see a Bear In the Air in action. She thought I was kidding, and then wondered how we made such good time.

When we arrived in Woodstock, VA, Monica got in touch with the Collegiate Membership Coordinator at the Sigma Sigma Sigma Sorority National Headquarters, who very kindly offered to give us a tour. The house was built in the late 1800s. It's beautiful, and full of the rich history associated with the sorority, which was founded in 1898. Monica loved it because she is a Sigma and she was at the mothership; I loved it because I enjoyed the old house filled with antique furniture, china, jewelry, and history.

Roadtrip Day 6

We got another early start and headed toward Mississippi. By midmorning, the cats were getting restless (did I mention we were traveling with two cats?) and needed a potty stop. We also took them out on their leashes for a little stroll in a gas station parking lot. Ringo (left) betrayed his paternal alleycat origins by insisting he check out the dumpster. Seamus was more cautious, preferring a very short stroll near the car.

We got back on the road with the cats in their carriers, singing along to Monica's mix CDs. Seamus likes to sing along with Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell;" Ringo enjoys singing along to Buddy Holly's "Every Day" and The Beastie Boys' "Girls" (Ringo is a xylophone man).

The next thing we knew, we were crossing the mighty Mississippi River.

I did my Crossing Into A New State Dance (patent pending). We recited "M-I-Crooked Letter-Crooked Letter-I-Crooked Letter-Crooked Letter-I-Humpback-Humpback-I." And we drove on.

When we reached Alabama, it was a beautiful day -- more like spring than midwinter.

Finally, we made it into Georgia and headed for Atlanta. It felt like a really long day. I'm not sure why this one in particular felt long -- since they have all been long -- but it did. We staggered into the house Monica shares with her friend Karen, went out for a quick bite to eat, then went to bed.

Roadtrip: Day 5

What happens when you go off-roading in a Hyundai Accent.

Our day did not start off well. We overslept until 8:00, and shortly after rushing out the door, ended up stuck in a snowbank. You see, there was a huge puddle in the road, and since we had already sailed through some very deep ones the day before we decided to go around. Getting back onto the road proved problematic.


We called for roadside assistance and then waited. We were first approached by an old man who lectured us before trying to help. Then two guys turned up and as they were discussing what to do, another truck came by. He had chains, so the two guys hitched us to their truck and pulled us out. I wanted to hug them. Who knew that when angels appeared, one would be a redhead smoking a cigarette and the other would have a mullet?


Later in the day, we crossed into Louisiana. We took pictures at the border and did a litle dance by the side of the road. Texas was awesome, and I want to go back someday. But seriously, it is a big state. Getting across it felt like it took forever.


We rolled into Monroe, LA at around 6 p.m. and then went to dinner at the Cracker Barrel across the street from the motel. Sometimes you just need meatloaf.

Roadtrip: Day 4

We reluctantly bid a fond farewell to room 14 at the Motel 6 in Van Horn (conveniently located right next to room 41) and headed down the road toward Abilene.


We followed a snowstorm into east Texas, and were hoping to arrive after it was cleaned up. We saw a lot of cars and trucks that had gone off the highway in the storm, but the highway was clear. Local roads, not so much.


We arrived in Abilene in the middle of the afternoon. We got lunch at a local greasy spoon and then went to K-Mart for snacks so that we could skip dinner and not be on icy roads after dark. Our tasks accomplished, we went back to the motel. I decided to take a nap. When you're sick and driving across the country, you take any sleep opportunities that arise.

Roadtrip: Day 1

When we woke up on the first of February, we were out of options. Monica's lease was up, so despite illness and the weather, we had to pack up and go. We got a late start, but we were on our way.


The sun was shining, mountains and desert rolled by, we were listening to Anna Nalick. Things were definitely looking up.


We were excited to cross into Arizona. It felt like the road trip was starting in earnest. Catwoman was so happy she jumped into this shot.


We drove through Tucson and on to Benson, where we found a Motel 6 and settled in for the night.

While there, we made an archaeological discovery. My research indicates that it is an ancient form of communication.

Roadtrip: Day 2

We woke up in Benson, AZ to discover that an unprecedented cold front had swept through the West while we slept. We're pretty sure we were the cause of it since nothing about this roadtrip has gone as planned. I think the plagues of locusts are scheduled to arrive over the weekend.

Bowlin's Continental Divide Trading Post was heavily advertised on billboards for miles before the exit: "Snakeskin Belts!" "Agate Bookends!" "Mexican Pottery!" "Turquoise Jewelry!" "Grab & Go Snacks!" The appeared to have everything. We had to stop.

It was there that I ran into a guy I went to high school with. He lives nearby and works at the trading post. I figure the odds of that happening are even greater than the odds of Mother Nature deciding to send the worst winter weather in history on the same week we decide to drive across the country.

Monica and I bought matching mood rings at the trading post. Right now, according to the key, mine is the color of "mixed emotions." It's been like that a lot, actually. We're sick, we're stressed, and we're laughing hysterically over everything that keeps going wrong.

We pushed on and had lunch in the west Texas town of El Paso. We drove another hundred miles or so and, with the help of Monica's awesome sister Michelle (who was at home answering our calls and searching the internet on our behalf), we found a motel in Van Horn. When we arrived, we discovered that we got there at just the right time. The motel was filling up with locals who had no heat or hot water due to frozen pipes. I'm beginning to feel like we owe the entire country an apology.

Roadtrip: Day 3

Beautiful Downtown Van Horn, TX.

We woke up in Van Horn, TX feeling sick. After checking the Weather Channel and realizing we really couldn't make much progress through Texas anyway due to storms in the Dallas area, we decided to stay in Van Horn and begin life anew. We figured that a teeming metropolis must have lots of opportunities for a couple of women with skills and moxie.


But first, we went back to sleep for four hours.

After breakfast, we surveyed our new home. I thought this might be a good place to get a job, assuming they were only closed temporarily due to frozen pipes. At the shed in the back of the lot there was a sign proclaiming that they also sell books and do upholstery by appointment. I just want to work at a place where I can answer the phone "Fancy Junk, how may I help you?"

A short drive around Van Horn revealed that the town did not have certain things that we felt all towns should have. So we decided that if the weather kept us there forever (and it looked like it might) we would open Bark-n-Bowl Pizza & Hot Oven Grinders -- a combination bowling alley, pet store, and pizza place. Monica pointed out that nobody in Texas would have any idea what a grinder is; I felt that the curiosity factor would be a key to our success.

We had dinner at the Hotel El Capitan, which is beautiful, and was also interesting to me because I once knew Henry Trost, the grandson (or maybe great-grandson) of the Henry Trost who was one of the great architects of the west.

At this point, it didn't even strike me as an odd coincidence.