What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?

Is it me? Does no one else wonder about these things?

It started like this: I was walking in a graveyard (you know, as you do) and I came across a hilarious tombstone. I'm guessing that it wasn't meant to be hilarious. It was a his-and-hers stone, with the dates of birth and death and whatnot. He died 20 years before she did. His part of the stone said "beloved father" or whatever. Hers said "happy in the last," which yeah, I get it, means that she bucked up and was brave in the face of whatever carried her off. But if you just looked at the stone, it said "She had a fan-freaking-tastic time after the old buzzard dropped dead."

So it got me thinking. Someday, someone might see my tombstone and find it entertaining. I would like that.

Here are the options:

1. "I've had all the fun here I can stand."

2. "Gas, grass or ass. Nobody dies for free."

My brother Aaron really liked the second one; my friend Peter, not so much.