Very Bad Idea

Don't idiots have enough power in this country already?

Pet Peeves: English Language Edition

Occasionally, even the most relentlessly goofy old maid will feel a few too many little annoyances and end up crabby as hell.  So here, as a sort of pressure valve, I shall share, in no particular order, things -- usually written, but sometimes spoken -- that bug me. 

• Disregarding punctuation is not freeing us from tyrannical constraints.  It is making it very difficult to understand the most simple written communications.  I'm thinking, specifically, of the apostrophe, which in certain instances can help me to understand if you possess something, if someone else possesses something, or if there are more than one of something.  "My nephews," "my nephew's," and "my nephews'," for instance, do not all mean the same thing.
• "Ironic" does not mean "funny and intellectual."  So if I don't laugh at your joke, saying "I was being ironic" will not convince me that the joke was sophisticated and therefore hilarious.  Ironically.
• "Mantel" and "mantle" are not variant spellings of the same word.  So if I read "I lit four big candles on my mantle" I think "that's got to hurt."  Because in my mind, you're wearing your mantle; however, I suppose you could have put it on the ground and then lit the candles.  (See?  I feel better already.)
• "Flair" and "flare" are not variant spellings of the same word, either.  Of course, if you write that you lit candles on your mantle to give it some flare, and then go on to tell me about the cute firefighter you met during the ensuing blaze, it all makes sense.
• The phrase "I'm a positive person" does not mean the same thing as "I'm a better person [than you are]."  No really, it doesn't.  Look it up.

A New Year's Message from My Cat

Have a Happy New Year or Imma hurt you.

The Dead Zone

Not that kind of Dead.

A friend of mine used to refer to the week between Christmas and New Year's as "the dead zone,"  the time when one set of festivities is over and the next one has not yet begun.  My friend used to throw a party during the dead zone, giving us all something to do besides wait for the ball to drop later in the week. 

But I'm older now, and I don't mind a little quiet time.  I've got my calendar and planner organized for the coming year, the Chrismas decorations are put away, and my jewelry work area (which was taken apart to make way for cookie baking) is back in the corner of the living room.

I've been spending time listening to music, or to the wind, or to the calls of the crows outside.  I've been drawing, and thinking about new jewelry designs.  I've been getting in bed early with the first of the Palliser novels.

It's been lovely.

Dept. of Home Economics: Soup From Leftovers

Here at Old Maid HQ, it's often a challenge to cook fresh vegetables before they go bad, and to eat leftovers without expiring of boredom.  When the fridge gets too full, I make Use-It-Up Soup.  Check out how to make it over at My Life In Food: A Culinary "Art" Journal.

Now you know what to do with the vegetables from that crudite platter everyone ignored on Christmas Day in favor of the potato chips and onion dip.

Words of Wisdom, Christmas Edition: Charles Dickens

"This boy is Ignorance.  This girl is Want.  Beware of them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased.  Deny it!... And bide the end."

 A Christmas Carol

Merry Christmas, Gentle Readers!  May Ignorance and Want be kept from your door today and always.  May you instead, find peace, prosperity and good company in the new year.

Words of Wisdom: Elizabeth, Age 7

Image: Best Ballet Shoes Online

Do the dance

to live your life

inside your heart

and outside your life

with the love of family

and people that are your friends!