Wednesday, September 01, 2010

A Letter To Female Tourists About Traffic Safety


I'm as sorry as I can be that I got in the way of your need to drive on the wrong side of the road, run stop signs, or push your way into traffic. You do all of these things, then scream and rant and beep your horn at me because I am following the rules of the road. This must stop.

After a long day at work, the very last thing I need is to be screamed at by a bleached blonde in a Mercedes or a bottle redhead in some giant SUV. I suggest you go back to your tacky-ass condo that you've decorated with lots of money and no taste (and where I'm pretty sure the carpet doesn't match the curtains) and think about what you've done.

And while you're thinking, remember this: honey, I have issues and I might cut a bitch.

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