Saturday, June 23, 2012

A Lightbulb Moment

Gentle Readers, although you may not have noticed it I have taken a month or so off from blogging. I needed time to think, to regroup, to decide where to focus my energy.

A fortuitous opportunity to spend some time in airport bookstores and watching a little reality TV with my sister finally made me realize something: pastimes in our culture are aspirational. The things most people watch and read are about who they think they are or who they wish they were. We may laugh at the Real Housewives of Wherever, but they are setting trends and selling products and people can't get enough of them.

And let's face it, my friends, nobody aspires to the life of an old maid with a cat. In fact, most younger people probably laugh at my exploits, but laugh in that uncomfortable "Dear God, don't let that be me someday" kind of way. People my own age tend to pity me, and to make suggestions about how I could be more successful or date more if only I changed everything about myself.

People have been asking me since I was a teenager (usually with a degree of irritation) why I'm so hell-bent on being myself and I have no answer for that. In fact, I have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to be anything but him- or herself, why they would spend a lifetime searching for that mythological something outside themselves that is supposed to make them feel like they are okay. Whenever I've tried that, the results were very bad indeed.

All of which is the long way of explaining why I'm not updating here very often. There isn't much of a readership for an old maid with a cat, even if the old maid has a wicked sense of humor and still gets hit on by men young enough to be her sons.

I'll continue updating regularly over at My Life In Food: A Culinary "Art" Journal, but focusing it more on the silly pictures I enjoy drawing (one of which was recently published in the online food magazine Pork and Gin) and less on trying to make it into a Food Blog.  Maybe I'll draw some cartoons for this blog, too.  We shall see.

I'm just an ordinary person whose ambition is to be as kind, as creative, and as happy as I can be on any given day. It's not aspirational, but it works for me.